Law News and Tips

Disturbing the Dead

Fred Vilbig - Thursday, October 26, 2017

Disturbing the Dead

DISTURBING THE DEAD

Fred L. Vilbig © 2017

     As I mentioned in my last column, a good estate plan is where the kids are still celebrating the holidays five years after mom and dad have died. A bad plan is where they’re not even talking to one another soon after the funeral. Sometimes the fights are enough to wake the dead.What a good topic for Halloween!

     I run into that family every once in a while where the parents haven’t planned their estate carefully or implemented the plan correctly. Many times when mom and dad are getting older, they become more and more dependent on one child as opposed to the others. Sometimes it’s to the complete exclusion of the others. And sometimes it’s that child who is isolating the parents.

     We have a case like that now. There are four children in the family. When mom and dad were younger, three of the kids clearly remember both mom and dad saying everything would be split into four equal shares when they died. The mom and dad also set up a trust. The trust said that when mom and dad became incompetent, one of the sons could step in to pay the bills. On their death, the trust provided that everything was supposed to be split four ways just like the three kids remembered.

     But for whatever reason, mom left her bank accounts out of the trust. She even had a power of attorney authorizing one of the kids to take care of the non-trust accounts. But that was not the daughter who moved in with her. After dad died and mom was growing more feeble, that daughter convinced mom that since she was living with her, mom should just “put her name on the accounts.” That way she could pay her mother’s bills and make her life easier.

     There are a couple of ways you can “add someone’s name to an account,” but the daughter marched mom down to the bank and had mom add her name as a joint owner.

     One of the characteristics of a joint bank account is that when a joint owner dies, the entire account passes over to the surviving joint owner(s). In the case of a husband and wife, that is usually a good thing. In our case, it wasn’t.When someone is added to a bank account as a joint owner, all other planning becomes meaningless. On the death of one joint owner, the entire amount in the account belongs entirely to the surviving joint owner(s), no matter what a will or trust might say.Once its theirs, they can do whatever they want with it.

     Soon after the funeral, the funeral home wanted to be paid. The son who was the successor trustee under the trust went to check how much money was in the trust to pay these bills. He found mom’s checkbook. According to the ledger, there was plenty of money in it. However, he thought it was curious that the checks had his sister’s name on them but said nothing about the trust. He called the bank only to be told that they couldn’t talk to them. They couldn’t even tell him who owned the account now. His blood pressure began to rise.

     It occurred to him that since his sister’s name was on the account, he should ask her, so he did. When he asked what happened to their mom’s checking account, he was told it was none of his business. His blood pressure rose a little more.

     When he pressed the question, his sister told him that mom wanted her to have that money, and she deserved it. She had been the one taking care of mom all these years (a slight exaggeration), and this was mom’s way of paying her back. The son asked when mom had said this, and the sister told him. The son knew mom had been pretty ill at about that time. His blood pressure was getting sky high.

     When the brother told the other siblings about this, they were furious. They called a family meeting, and the one sister came. The three other kids told her that mom and dad had wanted them to split those accounts equally, but the sister stuck to her position. Tempers flared, voices got harsh, the meeting ended in chaos, and litigation will follow.

     It’s such a sad ending to what had been a very happy family life. It’s not at all what mom or dad would’ve wanted. I’m sure it’s enough to make them turn over in their graves.

     There are alternatives.Feel free to contact us to discuss further. Call today314-241-3963

Your first consultation is Free. Contact Fred now!

 

Comments
Patricia Hughes commented on 27-Oct-2017 03:21 PM
Something very similar happened to me and it's awful. I have a family member who quit a job they hated (and after bouncing around from job to job) to live with our parents. My parents put her name on all their accounts because they were forgetting to pay bills. My siblings and I didn't realize that meant when our parents died that she would get ALL the money. She also insists that since "stopped her life" to take care of our parents she should have the house too. So for three years living without bills and being feed and every wish taken care of she should be "paid" most of the estate. I never thought this would happen in my family. We'll never be the same again and we will never all be together as a family. Basically, she rather have the money than the family. I wish I knew Fred earlier and insisted that things be done differently.

I warn EVERYONE to check get a second opinion about your estate and/or your parents. And to NEVER add someone other than your spouse to an account.

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