Law News and Tips
Home for the Holidays
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Fred L. Vilbig © 2018
The holidays are great. The food, getting together with family, other people’s decorations. Yes, I said other people’s decorations. We have a peak on our roof that is about 30 feet up, and it must be at least 100 feet down. Yes, I’ll get the decorations up, but it is a death defying feat if I say so myself.
So where was I? Oh, yes: the holidays. My wife’s favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because it just involves cooking a big meal, and she’s a great cook. That’s lucky for my kids since I am not such a great cook, and it really stresses me out trying to get everything on the table at the same time while it is still hot.
But either at Thanksgiving or Christmas, the family gets together for a big meal. The out-of-town kids fly or drive in, and the in-town kids come over for a full house like it used to be. It seems that our holiday dinners last a long time with people staying around the table reminiscing about things. My wife and I often listen to the stories about what the kids did when they were young. Later we’ll check with each other and find out that neither of us knew anything about those things. Often we’re surprised, but at least no one got seriously hurt.
In addition to all of the good times that we have at the holidays, they are also a good time to check up on family members, particularly our parents. For some, we see our parents on a regular basis. We may not notice the little, subtle changes that may be taking place. For others who see their parents only once or twice a year, the accumulation of these little changes can be shocking.
When you’re home for the holidays, you may want to pay attention. Are they eating right? Are they dressing appropriately for the weather? As we age, we all get a little forgetful, but are they getting forgetful to the point that it is a problem? Have they gotten lost when going to the store? Do you see big changes in habits that seem to be ways of compensating for something? Did they use to be social, and now they are a homebody? Do you see big changes in their personality?
As we age, there are changes, but the question is whether they are creating problems. If not, it might still be a good idea to check to make sure that everything is in order. Do they have a will and/or a trust? Do they have a durable power of attorney? Do they have a medical directive that includes a medical power of attorney and a living will? And it’s important for the children to know who is going to be primarily responsible if something happens.
These may be tough, maybe even awkward questions to ask, but they are important. Surprises are not welcome, particularly when it is too late to fix things. In prior columns, I have written about times we have fortunately discovered problems before it was too late. And in other columns, I have written about those times we were too late to fix the problem directly, but we were able to find ways to work around the problem. But there are times when we discover the problems too late to fix other than by going to court, and the client ends up paying a lot of money in legal fees. So even though the questions may be tough and awkward, not asking them can end up costing a lot of money and aggravation.
So enjoy your holidays, but you might want to ask some questions … before it’s too late.
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